If You Can't Catch Them In Real Life - Stage It

Some five years after *9/11* America still dreaded (and still does and will continue to dread) some new terrorist attack from Al Qaida...

The wrestling circus, always keen on being relevant and au goût du jour if it can be in a cheap thrill kind of way, decided to introduce a couple of Islamic wrestlers just then, to vastly capitalize on the fear of terrorism newly instilled in America while carefully threading on new territory with such a delicate subject...

And so was born Muhammad Assan (he had to be named after the Prophet, of course) who, together with his faithful manager (I forget the latter's name) would represent the "angry Islamic American" perceived differently ever since the tragic events of *9/11*.

Assan (why wasn't it Hassan, I wonder...) and his acolyte were basically doing the same schtick that made ol' Iron Sheik and his Russian buddy, Nikolai Volkoff, famous back in the early eighties. But that was cartoony wrestling action; this was political commentary; an attempt at that, anyway... The first lasted much longer than the second, as political climates evolved or endured... With such a constant atmosphere (which prompted President Barack Obama to state clearly that America was not at war with Islam; only with the threat of terrorism. With a name like that, Obama cannot be too much at odds with Islam, one would think; but that's another story...) and the psychosis that it develops on some psyches, *rasslin* or rather "sports entertainment" quite simply had to back off and cut it out.

Muhammad Assan was never seen again - his acolyte continued on, for a time, as a singles competitor, and then promptly vanished from sight as well. They were either unceremoniously released from their contracts or reassigned to the minor league OVW, to carry on as masked wonders of the ring, anonymous once again...

Such is the nature of the sports entertainment beast: a leviathan of sorts it may be, but one that balks down at the slightest sign of controversy that could hurt it at pay-per-view buy rates and house shows, where it truly makes its money.

Ironic, in the light of all this, that Muhammad Assan's last big moment was on the self-proclaimed biggest pay-per-view event of all, Wrestlemania (the 21st edition of it, for precision's sake) opposite the biggest American so-called "hero" that this kind of fare has ever generated: Hulk Hogan. (Heck, Terry Bollea has even portrayed this damn character under a mask too: rechristened for the occasion as "Mr. America" - so that does say it all, does it not... Search YouTube for that priceless evidence as well, why don't you now!)

All that poor taste was truly overdoing it. It was pushing it too far - into the absurd and too obvious as well - but what can we say: such is America's style. And more particularly, the style of one Vince Kennedy McMahon, head of WWE Entertainment - but that is another disgusting story in and by itself too...

Muhammaed Assan versus Hulk Hogan was the result of that; what was so 'different' about it and the days when Iron Sheik was constantly overpowered by the very same Hulkamaniac, I ask you? Not much at all, indeed...

Meanwhile, America's "war on terror" continues - and the elusive Osama Bin Laden remains at large,,, presumably...

If not Hulk, maybe they should put another all-American, true American on the case and get the job done within less than two hours: Chuck can go for it, perhaps?

(...)

And to think that all this came to mind after seeing Hogan -along with Jarrett, Styles, Hardy and Flair, of all people- take over the sad premises that house TNA - in such a sickening way as to remind us all of the myriad reasons why we all hate McMahon with such a stomach-turning desire to vomitar...!


As the older dude says, 'nuff said!

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